Childlessness is not only a medical condition; the “child-free” lifestyle is becoming more and more common and accepted. In the twenty first century a new female archetype is coming to life, celebrities and successful businesswomen take a stand in favor of the argument that being a mother is not part of their female identity. Even though their group is constantly growing, child-free women still suffer from being stigmatized as selfish and self-absorbed. Karen Wright, the leader of the Not Mum Summit says that the worst thing about being childless is that people don’t listen to your arguments at all; they refuse to hear these women. Although this stigma still exists, people are becoming less judgmental.

The figures show that the percentage of women who are childless in their forties is rising year after year, and society is becoming more and more accepting. An American research showed that most adults agree having no children doesn't necessarily mean living an "empty life”, an opinion that has risen to 59% by 2002 from 39% in 1988.

But the share of Americans who think this trend is bad for society has also risen; it was 29% in 2007, and 38% in 2009. According to the U.S. Census Bureau’s Current Population Survey, the percent of women without children between the age of 15 and 44 rose to 47.6% in 2014, from 46.5% in 2012. This is the highest percentage of childless women, since the US government started tracking this data in 1976. Another interesting fact is – as a 2010 Pew research showed - that the tendency of not having children until the age of forty is most often present among highly educated white women, and in most cases, they do not have children at all.

But what makes women choose this way? There is a multitude of reasons that can be mentioned, but in my opinion every single one of them misses one point, namely the worth of Life, the value of a human being.

But why am I saying this? To make it a bit more clear, here is a list of some of the most common arguments against having children based on the data mic.com collected from its reader for an article in July.

In most cases the followers of the site stated that the cost of having a baby is too high for them to be able to afford one.

"If I can hardly afford to live well now on my income, how can I be expected to give a child the life they deserve?"

Life is not only about money. And children, especially in their early years, don’t need much. Of course financial challenges can occur, that is probably inevitable. But according to a Global Finance Magazine measurement in 2013 (https://www.gfmag.com/global-data/economic-data/worlds-richest-and-poorest-countries) the USA is the ninth richest country on earth, and Western European countries are in the first forty, unlike most of African and Asian countries. So we really have no reason to worry about money.

There is another argument that says:

“Today’s young women have more of a choice about their fertility than their grandmothers did, and perhaps clearer eyes about the challenges of child-rearing than their mothers“.

First of all, our grandparents and parents had children, so they surely know better how challenging it is to raise a child. And despite knowing the difficulties of parenting they did it, because they loved you and I. Of course, social pressure on women to be a mother was greater back then, but that does not mean they didn’t want to have children. And where would our generation be, if our parents just cared about themselves? They didn’t choose the easy way, and even if they didn't realize it, by having us they took care of the future of society.

"I joined [the] zero population growth movement a long time ago for environmental reasons."

Some women said they did not want children, because there were already too many people on earth. So they think American and European women shouldn't have any kids in order to compensate the high birth rates in Asian and African countries, where children usually have the worst circumstances. I feel the urge to save the planet too, but I do not think this should happen at the price of whole nations and ethnicities disappearing from the face of the earth.

"When I imagine my future, I just don't see any [kids]. I love what I'm studying and I want to get the most out of my career. Whether that includes endless overtime, sleepless nights, relocating, and/or travel."

Maybe you’ve realized that the “to do list” is quite the same if you have a child. It takes overtime, sleepless nights and even relocating. Plenty of families do this for their children, but more and more women choose to do these for their careers. Traditional family patterns are not so fashionable nowadays. Women are taught to be individualistic and free from any burdens society intends to put on them. Of course, a successful career can bring great satisfaction, and it is good that women can use their talents, but when we hadn’t had this image of independent, child-free, working female archetype, most women were happy with raising kids. I think media is just turning this whole situation upside down by telling women they can be much more than mothers. However, women who choose family as a career are usually really delighted and perhaps, there are a lot women who could be more satisfied as mothers than as stressed out, hard working careerists. Despite the fact that today, as a consequence of the picture that media paints of mothers, motherhood is not so attractive anymore, women should understand not only the downside of this choice but the upside as well.

„I wouldn't want my children to be obliged to live in a world where they would either be bullied or be the bully”

Some of the childless women justify their decision with the fear of inability to raise their children well or the bad things they (the children) would have to suffer, and as a mother they wouldn’t be able to watch them suffer. These women forget the obvious fact that everyone goes through tough times, but, especially in a western society, life can be full of joy as well. If those children are not born, they won’t even have the chance to experience the shiny part of the existence. We all know that life is hard sometimes, but being persistent makes us stronger and those who hold on tight, finally have the opportunity to win victories. It is worth being courageous and having children whom you may try to teach the previously mentioned principles. As a parent, be ready to support them in everything they face. If you raise them well, they might become the ones who stand up against bullies and make a difference in their environment.

"With the way I want to live my life, kids would get in the way."
"I don't want kids because they mean a lot of work."

Raising children takes a lot of time and energy. However, our generation is socialized to have fun, and enjoy life as much as possible. That pretty much tells me that women cannot take the responsibility, and do not want to face any difficulties throughout their lives. Childbearing is not easy, but creating something precious never is, and those who live that easy lifestyle will never become familiar with the great satisfaction that comes as the result of such efforts.

I really admire those women who choose motherhood rather than career and entertainment, owing to the fact that they regard the life of another human as more valuable than reaching their own goals. Besides, the future of our society is in their hands.

To be continued…